Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life

Triangle Tool

Desperate Dependency: Triangle Tool

Establishing Identity

When we live independently from God we search for a substitute as our validating source. Without a desperate dependency on Him we establish a counterfeit connection with people, positions, and possessions in our pursuit for validation. We extract love from illicit relationships to prove that we are lovable, to establish our significance, and to enable us to feel secure. But in actuality we suffer loss because people, positions, and possessions are incapable of fulfilling us.


The person who made the idol never stops to reflect,
“Why, it’s just a block of wood!
I burned half of it for heat
and used it to bake my bread and roast my meat.
How can the rest of it be a god?
Should I bow down to worship a piece of wood?”

Isa. 44:19 NLT


Ultimately we are left unfulfilled, dissatisfied, and incomplete as the result of pursuing God substitutes. The delusional sense of satisfaction that stimulates and sedates eventually fades and we are left wanting more. In our vain attempts we explore other counterfeits that may promise temporary contentment but only provide mutually satisfying exploitation and manipulation to empower our identity.


Lord, I have worshiped idols, and I am disgraced along with all others who claim they can make a god. We may all stand together, but we will stand in terror and shame. I have exerted all my time and energy to find something that will make me feel good. I have taken the worthless and used it for my benefit. Then—yes, it’s true—I have taken the rest of it and made myself a god to worship! I have made idols and bowed down in front of them! I have fallen down in front of them, worshiping and praying to them. I said, “Rescue me!” “You are my god!” Please forgive me! Now, Lord, I am asking You to rescue me! You are my God! . . .

Isa. 44:11–16

(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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