The Challenge: Become Desperately Dependent on God
God’s goal for our lives is complete dependence on Him. This is what I continue to learn through Kirk and Melanie’s book, Desperate Dependency, through DDCommunity’s study of the Bible in a year, and Kirk and Melanie’s ongoing counsel and mentorship in my life.
I chose other dependencies.
Through various stages of life, I have placed dependency on multiple people, places, and things. In my 20’s, I put my dependence on my parents. Family is not bad, but God never intended for us to get our needs of love, significance, and security met only through our family. In fact, the hurt caused by family is what leads many of us into counseling. When my father passed away, and my mother responded to his death with hurtful coping strategies, I felt alone. Instead of turning to the Lord to be my portion when my family wasn’t enough, I turned to other relationships and stuff to be my portion. Unfortunately, no portion of relationships or stuff is enough.
In my early 30’s, I placed my dependency on relationships, friendship, and romantic. Relationships are not bad, but God never intended for us to get our needs of love, significance, and security only met through others. In fact, the hurt caused by friendships and romantic relationships is what leads many of us into counseling. When I experienced hurtful breakups in friendships and romantic relationships, I felt unstable. I would then seek love, significance, and security through affirmation in new relationships, work, volunteering, etc.
Other dependencies don’t satisfy.
The problem is that no portion of affirmation, relationships, and productivity is ever enough. We will seek life from whatever we set up as our source of love, significance, and security – our God place. No person, place, or thing was created to give us life. People, places, and things can bring temporary happiness, but we end up being addicted to these people, places, and things because the more we get happiness from them, the more we crave them. The desire doesn’t become filled; it becomes insatiable.
Depending on people is not enough.
Do you realize how irrational it is that we would seek fullness from another person who is mortal, fallen, and needy? I don’t recall the film but remember an interaction between a mentor and his mentee.
Humans are never happy because they can never get what they want. But, even if they do get what they want, they are still not happy because they can’t ensure that they can keep it in their grasp.movie quote
No portion of relationships, affirmation, or productivity is enough.
I saw a reason to be desperately dependent on God.
In my mid-thirties, I began to grasp that “in Christ, all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form” (Colossians 2:9 NIV). We have been given fullness in Christ. He is the perfect portion size for our needs of love, significance, and security. Unlike people, places, and things, His resources to give us love, security, and significance are not limited, are not inconsistent, and have an overflow for us to pour into others.
Throughout the years, I had resisted becoming desperately dependent on God. Who wants to be desperate? Who wants to be dependent? But when I recognized that I am complete because of my union with Christ (Colossians 2:10 NLT), I became desperately dependent on God.
God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.Psalm 73:26 ESV
Becoming desperately dependent on God produced an overflow.
When I realized that Christ is the source of living water that never runs dry, I then had the resources to pour into those around me instead of expecting those around me to make me feel filled. In fact, when I experienced Christ as the perfect portion for love, significance, and security, my eyes were opened to those around me who are far from Jesus, the source of living water. If I’m in a state where I’m seeking life from people, I don’t have the resources to give them. If I’m in a state where I’m living in fullness in Christ, then my eyes are opened to those who need the overflow of that fullness.
Spiritual maturity results from a desperate dependency on God.
A little over six years ago, I was made aware of the refugee community in Chattanooga, TN. Most refugees are from places in the world that are unreached and unengaged with the Gospel. I began to build relationships with refugees, serve physical needs, such as teaching them to drive and have spiritual conversations. The more that I turned to Christ to be my portion, the more He provided an overflow to pour into others.
As I served this beautiful community, the more my heart fell in line with the Father’s heart, “not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9 NIV). The more that I gave of the overflow, the greater my capacity to give grew. It has grown to the point that I have quit my job, sold my house and belongings, and am moving overseas to share with those who have not heard that Christ is the source of living water. When we turn to Him to fill our cup and be our portion, He fills us with joy and with eternal pleasures.
You make known to me the path of life;Psalm 16:11 NIV
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Moving from dissatisfaction to satisfaction.
Looking back at life, I had the superficial comforts of work, relationships, and stuff but was never deeply satisfied. I have been uncomfortable with giving up work, relationships, and stuff in the past year, but I’m incredibly satisfied.
Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, there is no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for my sake and for the sake of the gospel who will not receive in this age a hundred times as much–homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and fields, all with persecutions–and in the age to come, eternal life.”Mark 10:29–30 NET
My desire for desperate dependency on God.
May God give us the strength to let go of lesser gods that bring us temporary love, security, and significance so that we may be solely dependent on Christ to be our eternal portion. May we then love others with the overflow that we have received from Him, the source of living water that will never run dry.
Jesus said, “But whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will never get thirsty again. In fact, the water I will give him will become a well, of water springing up in him for eternal life.”John 4:14 CSB
This post is an anonymous guest testimony. We would love to hear your story about how you became desperately dependent on God! Leave a comment below or Contact Us.
Excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis.
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